Palin’ in Comparison

Here’s the irony and believe me, I love irony unless it threatens the future existence of my civil union (thank you New Jersey) or the rights of women everywhere. Here is just one example: Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in Evolution or Global Warming but she DOES believe the Rapture will happen in her lifetime. God’s a comin’ and Sarah and her brood are going to get swept into the sky with a few select others. However in her view, it is mythology that ocean temperatures are rising at an alarming rate. And the dinosaurs, fossils, science of carbon dating, etc. are just tricks played on us by a red guy with horns and a tail who lives at the center of the earth. It makes sense, right? No wonder she doesn’t care about this planet or the creatures that inhabit it, she already has her exit strategy. Earth is so “yesterday” dude.

John McCain’s Little Fishies Like to Cuddle
Thank God for YouTube. They archived John McCain’s take on the environmental friendliness of the cuddly oil industry. Oil is like Snuggles the Bear, who likes to land on your laundry basket. As McCain addressed an audience of head-bobbing supporters who looked drugged, he did a hunched over giddy little dance around the stage, looking disturbingly like Uncle Fester from the Adam’s family. As he twittered “On that oil rig — you look down, and there’s fish everywhere! There’s fish everywhere! Yeah, the fish love to be around those rigs. So not only can it be helpful for energy, it can be helpful for some pretty good meals as well.” Meals? Meaning the fish are easier to catch (for us) or they are licking off the oil platforms? I guess John McCain is a reaaaally abstract thinker, like Michael Keaten’s great quote in Nightshift: “I’m an idea man… I say we feed the mayonnaise to the tuna before we catch them!” I find myself hiding behind furniture when he appears on the TV screen…what is next?

Da-Do Reg Reg

How do you UnDe-Reg your support of De-Regulation? News clips from a year ago (and two decades past) show John McCain supporting Bush in the de-regulation of Wall Street. All for benefit of his Freddie Mac cronies. In other words, like a Girls Gone Wild/ Spring Break orgy, leave them alone and let them do their thing. Then George Bush distances himself from the financial crisis and says Wall Street got drunk and now it has a hangover! Hahaha, except now Wall Street overdosed on heroin and is in the ER. Not so funny George, as our 401Ks take a dive into the toilet. So, how does John McCain flip flop during this crisis and become Regulator Man? Without looking like a h-h-h hypocrite?? Obama should hammer on this ad nauseum.