The Debatable Pitbull: Open Snout, Insert Paw

Everyone watched the VP debate with anticipation, like looking at a car wreck, kind of half peeking over the couch to see some blood and (dare I say it?) gore. We didn’t get Palin’s off-the-cuff gibberish that we had in the Couric or Gibson interview—and that alone made her rise above the lowered expectations. But, she used the same babbling approach with betchas, dang its and gollies. It was mind-numbing. Like Mr. Rogers in drag, Sarah once again reminded us that she’s just like your neighbor out at the soccer field. Sweet. But I think the problems of the mortgage crisis, world economy, fragile foreign policies in Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran, climate change, gas prices, healthcare etc. need a powerful mind. As much as I love my neighbors, I want someone smarter than them (or me) to tackle these issues. And she’s just not. I was tempted to count all the times she used the word “also” –then I realized the also was her only way to string together a series of unrelated topics (the ones she memorized and rehearsed) no matter what the question. If the question was Wall St. she turned to taxes; if it was deregulation, she turned to energy. Her pitbullish excuse: “I may not answer as you Joe or the moderator want me to.” Joe Biden is not your teacher nor is Gwen Ifill the principle. It’s a debate! They don’t care how you answer, but ask only that you stick to the question. There’s no gotcha here. Like when Palin said we can go after terrorists in Pakistan, that wasn’t Katie Couric. That was a student. When you’re Sarah Palin and they let you out in public, I guess everyone is out to Getcha. But in the debate, it was glaringly obvious how many questions she just didn’t grasp: nuclear weapons, what an Achilles Heel means (dang that mythology!), the Wall St. situation etc. She’s not qualified, she’s not knowledgeable and there’s no question that Biden won the debate on the issues. But selfishly, I cannot not bear the thought of listening to hokey hockey stories in a voice that sounds like Mrs. Poole from the Hogan Family. Or, the mispronuniciation of the word nuclear for 4 more years!